Dating Kit

Adventures of a Single Girl…

Long weekend drinks with an Irish Gilbert Blythe (part two)

on September 3, 2016

I introduced you to Connor in http://Long weekend dump(lings) date, and after dinner, we headed down the road to the Doutta Galla Hotel,where we spent some time sitting around talking and then standing around talking and bopping to the music the DJ was playing.

We sat around outside in the gorgeous warm summer’s air and with every second sentence, he touched my arm. Sometimes they were somewhat accidental but others they were very deliberate strokes. Sweet! I hardly had to do anything but one thing’s for sure, I was happy for him to show his affection and I didn’t shy away from any of it. I defo wanted him to know that even though I wasn’t reciprocating in the same way, the feelings were mutual. (I actually find it odd when people mirror another person’s actions, and since I’ve noticed it in other people, I don’t always find it genuine.)

And as is typical, the moment for a kiss gradually arrived. I love that feeling when you know you like him, and he likes you, and short of an apocalypse, nothing will prevent that kiss from happening, so just be patient and let it build up. That tension is amazing. One of the best feelings a person can have, I reckon.

Our first kiss came after lots of little Anne of Green Gables jibes at each other, little touches on the face and playful punches. Very sweet. He wasn’t shy but also wasn’t aggressive. And in fact, I’m pretty sure that I ended up kissing him first, after our faces had come so close once before that the second time I wasn’t going to miss another opportunity. It was all very lovely and sweet. (Fortunately, o03.09.16bur attempts ended better than Gilbert Blythe’s.)

What wasn’t so lovely is that Connor kept ‘accidentally’ touching my boobs!! He’s much taller than me, and very prone to using his hands when he talks, so a few times I was swatted by the back of his hands without him actually meaning to. Then, when I pointed it out, well, it became less accidental and more playful. But hello, we’re in a pub! I do not want other drunk skunk guys to think that’s acceptable, so I had to put a stop to that. And I did, as best I could.

Soon the pub was shutting, and I’d missed the last train home. As the date had gone on much longer than I’d expected, and we’d shouted each other drinks (after he paid for our dumplings dinner), I was skint and thinking that I really didn’t want to outlay much more for the night.

So it was agreed that I’d go back to his place, which was around the corner. I made it clear it wasn’t for a shag, and he acknowledged that. As we walked, I got him to give me his license and I took a pic and sent it to my friend on messenger, along with his phone number and name.

By the time we got into his place she’d messaged back a dossier of info on him. She’s amazing at that. She always has my back and loves investigating guys I’m arranging to meet. I’ve never had to call on her for this, while en route, because I rarely go home with a guy. But I was definitely glad to have her back up and if she’d given me any negative info, I’d have come up with another plan.

We pulled out the couch into a bed and watched a movie. Well, I did; he fell asleep. I was cool with that and when the movie finished, I took myself off to his bed and got a few good hours’ sleep. Excellent.

I tell you, you don’t know awks until you wake up in a guy’s bed and suddenly realise you need to figure out getting home from one date to squeeze in some more sleep before you go off to another date that you know will result in very little sleep. So bad!! (Such are the trials of a single woman with an active dating life!) I’d considered getting up and bolting to the station while he was sleeping, but my feet were so sore I didn’t think I’d be able to make it, so I stayed put.

When Connor joined me later on, we cuddled and slept and chatted. He even gave me a calf massage because my calves were sore from dancing the night before and from wearing heels during our date. And he didn’t try to turn it into sex. Not that minute anyway, but I’m not stupid enough to think the massage was just  him being nice. He said he missed doing things like that with someone, but in my head I thought, yes and I’m guessing there are other things you miss doing, that you think this will lead to! But he was wrong, and I just let him give me the massa03.09.16age anyway.

He did try plenty, and I didn’t go for it. I’m just not the one night stand kinda girl these days. I’ve had them before and don’t judge myself for it, but I’m not up for that these days. If I’d had more money, and hadn’t had such a good time spending it on grog, I would have gotten a taxi home from the pub.

But I didn’t, and though I felt pretty safe going home with him, that doesn’t mean I need to shag him, and I’d made that clear when we left the pub. So I didn’t, and actually, I avoided a lot of the things he wanted to do. Frankly, he was a little beggy, and while most guys are when they’re alone with a woman, I’m over it. I’m all for giving it a crack, but please, please, please just give it a rest after I’ve said no.

Stop trying to entice me, because I get a bit jack of having to say no, and then when I get annoyed, trying to keep a lid on it, when all I really want to do is have a tantrum because it’s fucking insulting that they each think they’ll get me to change my mind. I don’t owe them an apology or an explanation but I just don’t want to fuck every guy I meet, regardless of how cute they are, and boy is he cute.

I know there are times when unplanned sex happens, after someone’s said they won’t, and then they change their mind. If it’s agreed by both, great, go for it! But if they don’t change their mind, don’t keep hounding, and accept their decision. End of.

Clear that no shag was going to take place, we got up and went out for brunch. Stay tuned for part three!

Xx Kit

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