Dating Kit

Adventures of a Single Girl…

Sizzling in Sydney

on June 1, 2017

I was in Sydney recently. I had to go there for work, and managed to add on an extra night for myself. Both nights, I tried to use my online dating apps to find someone to hang out with.

If you know me, when I say ‘hang out with,’ I mean go out for a few drinks, see the town and have some company while I’m in Sydney. It doesn’t mean sex, necessarily, and certainly not off the bat.

I asked the concierge in my hotel for recommendations of places to go which would be lively and happening. He recommended a pub next door.

I popped in and found that the bar was open, and staffed, and it had some customers in there, but it had really bad atmosphere. It was like being in someone’s lounge room with people sitting around a bar in the corner. The lighting was terrible, far too lit and bright. It was soulless. Apparently there was a nightclub attached, upstairs, next door, something like that. But if I wanted to go and party, I sure wouldn’t want to be in that building. The signage was confusing, and it looked like, as opposed to the too bright and open bar, the club was up and behind and I wouldn’t have felt comfortable going upstairs when I don’t really know where I’m going, especially on my own.

So I headed out to try to find better options. I’m not afraid to go out on my own, even though it’s not my fave thing.

When I’m out and about during the day, shopping or wherever, I always meet people, I’m super friendly and chatty.

But at night, it’s a b02-06-17-cit different. I’ve said it before, it’s not like in the movies. A woman doesn’t just sit at the bar and have a hot man walk in and offer to buy her a drink, and keep her company. If it’s a movie, they end up going back to someone’s hotel and have crashing into walls sex.

Instead, I went from bar to bar, and found empty room after empty room. Where the hell was everyone? I’m great company but I don’t really need to talk to myself; I’m there to meet other people. So it doesn’t matter how friendly and chatty I am, if there’s nobody to bloody talk to!!

A Thursday night in Melbourne CBD would find bars full! At least, they’d be half full. There’d be options.  Rather, I found myself repeatedly sitting at a table on my own with no one to talk to. I’d try to talk to the bar staff, and they were usually friendly and polite.

But I was out to meet people, and no matter how nice the staff are, they have a job to do, and they can’t stay there and chat with me indefinitely. I didn’t need to get laid, or even just pick up, I just wanted to be social and make new friends in a new town. I have the potential to be in Sydney more and more, and it would be really nice to have people to hang out with, guys or girls. It truly was horrendo.

It didn’t help that it was a rainy night, but I was in a different city, it was a warm night (read: muggy) so I was keen to see the sights as best I could, well, those not too far from my hotel, anyway. I might be keen, but I’m not stupid. If I’m not familiar with the city, I’m not going to roam too far on my own.

I found some really cool sights, like all these gorgeous fairy lights, and amazing stairs which lit up and changed as you watched. I was hypnotised by them! But I was practically the only one there to enjoy them.

While I was out, I was keeping an eye on my online apps, to see who was out and about. If someone was out, and was my kinda type, I could have met him for a drink. But no one was out. And those who were chatty, offered to meet me- at my hotel. That’s so not my thing.

Why is it so hard to find someone to spend time and a few drinks, without it HAVING to include sex? Since when do people not want go out and just have a good time?

So you can imagine what happened; I stayed out for a few drinks by myself and went home to my hotel alone. Having a stranger come to meet me at my hotel didn’t happen. That’s not my thing. It never has been, and it never will be.  I was tipsy, after a late night of very little sleep the night before, a crazy early flight, and a long day of hard work. I was proud of myself for sticking to my morals, but I was disappointed that to have some fun, I’d need to lower them. I never want to lower them.

The next day, after a good night’s sleep, I went to work, and hoped that the day would have a different outcome than the previous.

I made contact with some new guys online, and tried to make some plans. But it seemed that everyone only wanted to meet if there was a guarantee of a shag. Nope, not going to happen.

So instead, I started looking for Meetups that I could go along to. I found two and they were not far from my hotel, so I had high hopes that I could go along to those and make some friends.

But that night, it was raining- again!! Trying to get out and about but not get drowned, I ducked next door again to start the night off.01-06-17

Once again, it was lit like a bland Christmas, so bright but not lively. There were a lot more people this time but it was still kinda boring. I managed to find a free table, which happened to be in a corner. It had unattended glasses of beer on it, so I approached the table next to it and asked if it was free. This table had 5 guys sitting at it, enjoying drinks and waiting for their dinner. One of them, who happened to be the one to talk to me, was super cute and friendly.

But soon enough, he went back to his conversation with his mates.

So I sat in the corner and drank my drink, and eventually ordered some dinner. It was still raining, so I couldn’t go anywhere, and decided to stay. I’d had to work a miracle on my hair after two days of manual labour on hot muggy days, and constant humid rain in the air. But I was out, and I needed to maintain the miracle while trying to make the most of the time away.02-06-17-b

I wanted to leapfrog down to the other pub where the Meetup was, but it just rained and rained. So I had dinner, and tried to keep my spirits up. Apart from the occasional comment to and from the table beside me, there was no contact from anyone else in that bar.

Eventually the rain subsided and I headed out. I went to the Meetup venue but I couldn’t find anyone from the group. Everyone was in groups, and it’s awfully hard to walk up to a group and join in, especially when they’re sitting down. I hit the bar and met a guy who worked for Google. That was kinda cool but I think he was about 17, so that was a dead end.

Then I headed to other places, and I found that while there were more people out this night, it still wasn’t easy being out on my own.

I went back to some bars from the night before, but again, it wasn’t exactly friendly.

As a woman, you can go to the toilet and make friends. Not in Sydney. Those women were in and out, but in Melbourne it’s like the toilet is its own party zone.

I hit the street again and looked for some clubs or other bars. But architecture in Sydney is different. It’s full of nooks and crannies, and nightclubs seem to be upstairs most of the time. We have that in Melbourne, but I guess I’ve heard of them before, so even if I haven’t been there, I’d feel comfy going in. But not here.

So again, I ended up going back to my hotel alone, exhausted and a bit annoyed that I hadn’t found anyone to hang out with. I was ready for a good night’s sleep, but the night wasn’t quite as over as I thought.

Xx Kit

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