Dating Kit

Adventures of a Single Girl…

Never Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

on July 29, 2017

My encounter with this guy started the same way lots of them do- online.

He was nice enough, and he had a different look about him than the guys I usually date. We single women always tread the line of staying true to our preferences but always me29-07-17-coneheadseting the same guys over and over, or stepping over into the alternative, and trying someone new and seeing if we can get a different result.

He fell in the latter category, and so I was trying to see if I could be attracted to a different type. In his pic, he had a cap on, and that’s about a 99% chance that there’s nothing underneath, or very little anyway. I know guys wear caps for a number of reasons, but when he chooses that pic for his profile pic, it usually reveals what he’s trying to hide.

Now, let me remind you: bald is not my thing. But I’ve met plenty of great guys who are bald. It’s just that as a first attractor, that’s not it. So, while we got to know each other online, I had his possible baldness in the back of my mind.

As always, it’s not just about visuals, and we got along on a number of topics, one being writing. He’s got a few writing gigs in the works, and of course, I have this, so that was very cool. I don’t always tell guys that I date, about my blog, but in this case, as it was a positive and common area, it seemed prudent. I mean, that’s an opportunity I don’t want to pass up, being able to talk about what’s a huge area of my life, with someone I could commence a relationship with.

There were some downsides too, but my ‘list’ is flexible in some areas when there’s another that is magnified. So, having a guy with whom I can talk about my writing meant that him temporarily living with his parents was slightly less important.

Gradually we got to the point of meeting up, and as we lived not too far away from each other, we were easily able to choose a hotel to go to.

I arrived early, as I do, and went into the gaming room because I figured they’d have my drink in there. I was waiting to approach the bar and I heard a guy ask if I was Kit. I turned, and I’d been standing next to that guy and hadn’t recognised him. Bald confirmed! Bald confirmed! Gosh, that was a shock.

I confirmed my identity, and we did the ‘nice to meet you’ thing, and then he said, “I’ve got you something.” I looked down and he had a gift bag dangling in his hand. What the?

He gave it t29-07-17o me, and it was a bottle of my fave drink (that I was queuing for) and a little bottle of Baileys. He said, it’s to replace the one you broke.

That was super sweet, as during our chats I’d mentioned that previously I’d dropped a bottle of my Galliano after just buying it from Dan’s. It had dropped in the driveway, onto the cement and had shattered into a billion pieces, and I’d been devastated! Hello, it’s delish, who wouldn’t be?

I hadn’t been clear as to when that had happened, because it didn’t matter to the rest of the conversation, but it had happened about 15 years before! Nevertheless, it was really sweet that he’d taken notice of my story, and had wanted to replace it. Very sweet indeed, and I told him so as I thanked him.

The only trouble was, that this put me in a difficult spot. I’m by no means the type of woman who thinks that if a guy buys her dinner, that she has to shag him. No way, no sir. But, this got awkward really quickly.

I asked him if he thought I should take the gift to the car, but what I really was thinking was that if I took it to the car, I could jump in and not come back.

But, I’m nicer than that, so I clutched the bag to my side and we went to the bar and began our date. It was really clear to me though, that I wasn’t interested. Seeing him in person confirmed to me that I just wasn’t attracted to him. The happy smiley face which I’d seen in his pics was still there, but above it was a surface not unlike the characters’ in Coneheads. I just couldn’t see myself becoming more attracted to him.

Maybe I should have had one drink and left, but the sight of the bag sitting next to me on the bench made me stay.

I kept reminding myself, that it was his choice to bring me a gift, and that regardless of his intentions (or lack of), that had nothing to do with me, and my attraction to him (or lack of). He’s a nice guy, and I had no trouble chatting with him while we drank so I didn’t mind staying and talking with him.

Then he suggested we get some dinner, and then I really was put in a spot. But it was dinner time and I was getting hungry, so I agreed. I’d bought us a round, though he’d not wanted me to, and I was happy to buy my dinner but he wouldn’t let me. Okay, not much I could do about that, so I just enjoyed the dinner and the company. But the whole time, I was thinking, it’s a dinner, a few hours, but I’ll never see him again. I hated thinking those thoughts, and I hated sitting there while I had them, but I was weighing up how I’d extricate myself, and what I’d say, and I wasn’t quite ready for that.

During our date, while he was at the bar, I was texting my sisters with pics of the present and getting their opinions. One thought I should shag him immediately- no thank you! So old school. Both thought it was nice of him. Agreed.

After dinner, he mentioned meeting up again, and I was honest, that I didn’t see anything romantic happening between us. I hated saying it, and the bag beside me seemed to be 300metres high, but I had to. I didn’t offer him the gift back either. I can only assume that he gave it with pure intentions, and that he wouldn’t want it- besides, very few people drink Galliano! He took the news well, which showed great character on his part. Frankly, I didn’t like saying it any more than he might have liked hearing it.

I had to remind myself of his pure intentions again when we left the pub and it came to light that while he’d gotten the train to the pub, I’d driven, and was parked in the train station’s car park! As we headed toward my car, I didn’t offer him a lift, even though I could have. It might have been a polite thing to do, but he lived much further out than I did, and I would have needed to drive passed my house to his.

And, to be honest, if I’m not interested in someone, and I’ve just told them so, I don’t think it’s a good idea to have him in my car. My safety and security are paramount, and I don’t know him well enough to know what he’s really like when he’s digested news like that. I’m not assuming he was in love with me or a violent man, but I was looking after myself, and not being alone in a car with a guy who was a stranger up until an hour or so before, is doing just that.

So I thanked him for coming out, told him it was nice to meet him, and jumped in my car.

Stepping outside of what I usually go for wasn’t a bad thing, but it did remind me that I know what I like, and I shouldn’t force myself outside of that box without good reason.

And the Galliano tasted amazing as always.

Xx

Kit

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