Dating Kit

Adventures of a Single Girl…

First Date: Kiss of Death 

on November 16, 2017

It took a little while to meet this guy, but it started the same was they often do. We met on PoF, and chatted for a few weeks. We were keen to meet each other, but initially, he was too busy with his work and his children, so our first date had to be deferred.  

We chatted on the phone one night, and the chat went for 1.5 hours!! He’s very opinionated, but seemingly about the same things I am, so that’s a good sign. I have lots of opinions, you might have noticed.  

We didn’t get to talk again but gradually got around to making plans. He suggested we meet up after my dance class on a Thursday night for a coffee, but I said that it would be dinner time for me because I’d have rushed to class from work, and thus, we should eat. I was just throwing that out there, and it could have gone south, but he agreed immediately. (So often, guys are terrified by the thought of sitting down and having something to eat. It’s like they think that their foot is going to be strapped to the table and they can’t leave. I assume they’re worried about not being able to leave, or running out of conversation, but with me, that rarely happens. I don’t cover both sides of a convo, but I definitely know how to get them talking if they’re struggling.) Kiss of Death

Later on, however, he texted and told me he couldn’t meet me because his son was concerned about him being out late, because we would be starting late. That’s fair enough, but instead, we made plans for the following night. 

During the day, he texted me and we confirmed we were both still keen to meet up.  

We joked and talked about the possibility of sharing a kiss that evening. He actually said, “Lol, well if I thought you weren’t interested and there was no chance of a sneaky kiss there would be no point having dinner! I have to believe there is every chance you could be the one!” And then, “I hope that doesn’t scare you.” Of course it didn’t and I told him so. I was really hoping that the connection we seemed to have on text and over the phone would translate to an even better connection in person.  

But he was right. Generally, I don’t do a lot of flirting via text. It’s not the right medium for me. I’m not a natural flirt, and when I do, I want to see and be attracted to the person with whom I’m flirting. Forcing myself to flirt online or in text opens me up to guys who expect more from me when we meet than I might want to give, so I avoid it.  

After work, we were still texting and it was getting complicated figuring out where to meet. We had been talking about meeting at Lygon St the night before, but that place is so much busier on a Friday that I asked if there was anywhere else he could think of.  

We were on opposite ends of town, him south, me north east, and we decided to meet up in Thornbury.  

We drove there separately, from our opposite origins. I got there first, found a place to park and rang him. My car was so far away from the pub that I’d need to walk a good ten minutes and it was drizzling. He had a spot on the other side of the main street, in a street that I knew, so I drove to him. We talked as I was driving, and it turned out he was standing on the side of the road, so I picked him up and drove closer to the pub.  

I can tell you, that’s not something I’ve ever done with a guy I didn’t know, and I told him so. He gave me that old line, “well, it’s not like we’re strangers,” but to me, until we’ve met in person, we are strangers. We might be friends, but we’re still strangers.  

I found a spot and parked, and it was all pretty comfy. Sometimes, parking with a guy in the car can be nerve wracking, especially a new guy, but I nailed it, as per usual. What can I say? I’m a gun at parking. 

We got out and started walking to the pub. I had high heels on and as it was wet, he pointed out slippery looking concrete and uneven kerbs. It was really sweet, and all the while he walked on the road side of the footpath. 

When we reached the dining room, he graciously stood back while I took the seat I wanted. I love when a guy does chivalrous things like that, letting me have the seat facing out, walking on the road side, pulling out chairs. They’re old fashioned acts, but I’m an old fashioned girl.  

Anyhoo, a couple of minutes later, as we were talking, I realised that my bench seat was cushioned to such a degree that I was really low and having to look up at him across the table. For sure I’m short, and he’s tall, but it just wouldn’t do. I mentioned it and he offered to switch. As we did, we had a little moment of electricity, which was cute. He said I didn’t need to move my bag or coat, and I kinda liked that he wasn’t so manly he couldn’t be seen with a handbag.  

We ordered drinks and dinner, and what ensued was a lovely evening of chatting, filling in blanks from the many texts we’d sent each other, and learning more about each other.  

After dinner he hopped up and went to pay for the meal before I could say anything, so I thanked him and we got all wrapped up in our coats and scarves and went for a walk down the street. We strolled and chatted and talked about dating. It was pretty chilly and there were moments when I was pretty sure he wanted to hold my hand, but I was so cold I couldn’t leave my hands out of my pockets! He couldn’t stay any longer as he needed to get back to his son, so he walked me back to my car. Kiss of Death

I offered to drop him back to his, and he jumped into my car. We drove back to the street where his car was parked, and I thanked him for a lovely evening. We sat there looking at each other for what seemed like an hour, but it wasn’t. But it was awks nonetheless, and I couldn’t help but ask if he was going to kiss me. And he did.  

It had been awks before we kissed, and it was just as awks during! Not because it was bad, but just because I was wearing my coat, and was trying to turn to him behind the steering wheel. Plus he’s so much taller than me. And he has a bit of a beard and it’s been ages since I kissed someone with a beard. I’d forgotten that sensation!  

The kisses were good but I looked forward to kissing him properly, without twisting uncomfortably in the car.  

I woke up the next morning with a freakishly sore neck.  

Matt and I texted during the day and I told him. In the evening, when I was getting ready to go out, he checked in about how my neck was. Sweet. 

During the evening we texted a fair bit and he admitted that “it feels like it’s moving along quite nicely, early days though.” My thoughts exactly. How exciting.  

That was a fun story wasn’t it? All full of promise for the future? 

Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but that’s actually the end of it! After that, it just fizzled out and he stopped texting. I know better than to keep that up if there’s no reciprocation, so that was it. 

Talk about disappointing. But, it is what it is. Fortunately for me, I don’t get too involved emotionally. I can’t afford to, on my quest for the future Mr Kit, whether that be a husband or boyfriend.  

Sometimes when you break your own rules, you can set yourself up for failure. You can’t know for sure how events would differ if you hadn’t stepped out of your comfort zone, but if you have faith in your own rules you’ll be sure that you haven’t compromised yourself. By doing things I wouldn’t usually do, like picking him up along the way and inadvertently accelerating the intimacy by being in a car with him, perhaps I changed the course of our fate. You just don’t know, do you?  

Either way, it’s best to make decisions for yourself based on what you can cope with, and results you can live with. Changing those at the last minute can have all sorts of results.

Xx

Kit

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