Dating Kit

Adventures of a Single Girl…

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Getting some flamin’ hot cabana boy action- Holiday for one tales

My first day on my own in Cairns was grey but warm. I hadn’t made any plans or booked into any tours. I was lucky enough to wake up with a lovely young man, but after he applied some sunscreen to my back and went on his way and left me to it. We joked that I’d need someone to sunscreen me later on, as I’d already been fairly burnt two days prior and was still suffering! I wonder if he realised that my side of the joke was more wishful thinking than jesting?

I was defo keen to get out and about to see Cairns on my own, but also wanted to relax. It had been a big few days and lying by the pool sounded good to me.05-03-17a

I took my book along with me and headed downstairs. I could see the pool from my room and knew it was empty. When I got there, it was still empty and I had my pic of lounge chairs and cabanas. Of course, I wanted to soak up some rays while I had full sunscreen protection!

The water was chilly so I didn’t go in. Such a shame. The pool’s on a roof about 4 stories up but the water hadn’t warmed up enough for me to go in, and it wasn’t that hot that I needed to go in to cool off. Unfortunate temperature trickery, that!

And thus, my first day was spent lounging around, turning at regular intervals and reading and writing. I was determined, however, that I would pounce upon the very first person who came down to the pool – to ask them to sunscreen me, of course!

Lucky for me, the first one who came along was a dishy young guy. Well, hellooooo. He went into a cabana on the opposite side of the pool. I couldn’t see his face very well, what with the sun in my sunglasses and him being somewhat indoors, but I knew his bod was divine.

I’ll admit, it took me a little while to get up the courage to go over to him. Let’s be honest, when I promised myself I’d pounce on the first person, I didn’t a) necessarily expect anyone to rock up and b) never would have expected it would be a delish young man!

But, I decided a deal was a deal and I was on holiday and wanted to take every chance that came my way. So I dragged myself off my wooden lounge chair as elegantly as I could and grabbed my sunscreen and set off for the far side of the pool.05-03-17

When I arrived at his cabana, he’d taken his top off and was sunscreening himself. And holy cow, it was worth the trip. We got talking and he told me he’d been badly burnt so was staying indoors. We actually compared sunburn. Can you believe it? Anyway, he was only too happy to slather on some sunscreen on my body, and I can tell you, I was only too happy to let him.

Sunscreening was accompanied by brief convo about what we were doing in Cairns, during which he told me he was there as part of a group of performers. Righteo!! Wasn’t too sure about all of that and he didn’t seem to want to go into it, but if it involved getting his gear off, I figured he’d do pretty well. I thanked him and joked that I’d see him later, if we recognised each other with clothes on. He loved it.

I headed back to my lounge chair for a little while and then headed upstairs to change and to get on with the rest of my day.

When I was leaving the hotel, I went downstairs in the lift and who was there? That guy, and a mate. They were sitting in the foyer. I went over to say howdy, and said, weren’t you? And he laughed before he had a chance to explain, his friend said, “oh, you’re the sexy woman he met at the pool!” I was kinda stunned but of course I agreed, and then explained about the clothes on part; he thought it was pretty hilares too, but then he went on to say that they’re ‘partners’ who are strippers and are performing at the Convention Centre for a tools exhibition.

Now, regular readers would who’ve read, Let your words be anything but emptyknow how much I hate that word because of its ambiguous nature. The mate asked me to the pub but frankly, I kinda felt like it was an empty invite and that he was making fun of me; nor did I know which bits were true and which were jokes. So I said I might pop in on my way back from shopping, which is where I was heading.

When I came back from shopping and was getting ready to head out to dinner, I heard some ruckus down at the pool. Stepping out onto my tiny balcony, I saw that my pool boy was down there with that guy, another guy and two women, and they were rehearsing! The guys were fire throwers and the women were dancing. There were no flames poolside, but I could see that it would be a good show. The music was great. One of the girls really stood out, as a fantastic dancer. Pool guy still looked pretty good, but wasn’t quite a natural dancer. But who doesn’t love a guy who’s highly coordinated with his hands? I know I do! And all that fire twirling had sure paid off in the body department! That explains that. Grooooowww.

I kinda hoped I’d run into him again when he was solo, and that way I could feel out (in more ways than one) if he was available or really was partnered up with his mate.

But, unfortunately, the next time I saw him was with the whole gang and there was no way I was going to approach after the way his mate had been.

It’s fine though, I’d given myself a goal, and gone for it, and thus had had a brief but hands on interaction by the pool with a delish young man. Go me! And you know, not every guy you meet has to become something. Sometimes it’s really nice just to have a chat, or a little flirtation.

Xx Kit

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I’m Aussie, and it shows, because we abbreviate lots of words. What we don’t abbreviate, we lengthen! Here are a few words and phrases I use. Some of them are mine all mine, but some are just those which have found their way into my vernacular.

Awks – short for awkward, meaning uncomfortable or weird. “Man, it was so awks!!”

Awkwardo – long for awkward, but with a bit more emphasis, like, “awk-waaardo.” Often sung.

Mentale – mental, but my way. Pronounced, “mentahlay.”

Hilares – short for hilarious, because you know, most things are! Pronounced, “hilairs”

Faux beau – GAP Male Scale and World Male Scale

Resti – why go to a restaurant when you can go to a resti? It’s the same thing of course, but my version!

Pash – a kiss but with a bit more action than just lips!!

Pash rash – the itchy and scratchy you get on your face (or elsewhere, you lucky devil) after a big long pash, usually caused by his stubble, stubble that may or may not have been there when you first started pashing, if you’ve had a lovely long session!

Pashmina – usually this is an item of clothing but to me, it’s

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The Couples Club

I want to be in it. I’ve been there before. It’s like being amongst family. Why would anyone want to be single when they can have the support and kinship of such a group?

It’s a club of dinners, birthday parties, always having people to spend Saturday nights in with over home made dinners, picnics in summer and on public holidays like Australia Day, big cultural days like Grand Final Day, and long weekends away. The girls venting about their men, the men having a whinge about their nagging women.  But these are people who understand each other, and what’s going on in their collective lives. It’s an important network to have.

But steady on people, now that I’m not in it, you don’t need to be so goddamned nasty towards me. It’s not like I reject you for being in the club, it’s just that I’m not in it anymore. It’s not easy to get into that club, much as my dating history shows that I want to be.25-09-16

Is it a coincidence that the old school friend who made contact with me on facebook happily replied back and forth until I told her I was divorced and had no kids? I don’t think so. I haven’t heard from her since. Charming.

And what of the married friend who messaged me to see how my birthday was going and how I was spending it? When I told her that I was being taken out for dinner with a guy I’d been dating, she messaged back saying she and her husband were going out and I, with the new guy, was welcome to attend. I don’t think she was going to invite me until she heard I’d been seeing someone, and honestly, I hadn’t seen or heard from her since my previous birthday. But suddenly there was an invite since I was seeing someone?

Well, the guy I was dating wasn’t up for meeting my friends (he’s gone now), and I ended up going out with them alone. And we spent much of the evening talking about my dating life. We talked about their life too, but we all know I can’t relate to their kids stories, and it always seems like my dating life is the most entertaining topic of the night.

I get it, my life and I are hilares a lot of the time, I mean, that’s why I have a blog. But what they have is what I want, but I’m not in that club. My membership seems to have lapsed, and the application form requires something I don’t have: a boyfriend or spouse.

So if you want me, or others like me, back in your club. What are you doing about it? Have you thought of introducing me to your other single friends? Who knows, we might hit it off, and become the newest pair of your Couple Club. But introductions and blind dates seem to be a thing of the past, like bell bottom jeans. Okay, they can stay there, but come on, do a friend a solid and cast an eye over your friends group and arrange an occasion at which we can meet. At worst, more of your friends will know each other, and I reckon that’s always a good thing.


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Cock blocked by a guy!!


I was out the other night with a meet up group. I went with this guy I met a few weeks ago and who’s great at introducing me to people. (This time though, I realised he’s actually got some polishing to do in that regard, but more on that another time – the art of introducing people)

Anyhoo, I was trying to talk to a chick I’d just met, but it was a loud place and hearing new details was hard so it was hard going, but she seemed nice. Then a guy came up and spoke to me by name. I knew his face immediately and where I knew him from but couldn’t remember his name. He was on his way to the loo so I had a few minutes.

I texted our old mutual friends to ask. Back when I was married, and he was married, we shared two mutual friends, a couple who I’d worked with years before. They’d met at work and fallen in love. How romantic! They lived near us and my husband and I spent lots of Saturday evenings with them, and frequently, this other couple was there too, especially on big occasions.

Back when my ex husband and I split, he and his wife announced the same, so all our lives changed, including our social weekends, and I didn’t see him again.

Anyway, my friends didn’t reply, and later on, I was talking to a guy I’d met a few nights earlier- and who is a freakin’ dreamboat of a guy. I was having big chats with him because we had some recent history, and plenty to talk about. He’s a hottie and I’m well keen on getting to know him better, so I was happy to have the chance to chat with him so soon, especially as I didn’t know he’d be out that night. Yeehah!!

But instead, this one barrels up and starts talking to the guy- saying he knew him. My guy (let’s call him that for now, just to distinguish, lol) says, “oh I know John,” pointing right at his name tag. Bingo!! I got his name! I hadn’t even realised he was wearing a name tag.

My guy and I had been mid flirt, and all had been going well, and with this one joining in and changing the subject completely, it was fucking annoying! What’s a girl to do, be rude to a guy she’s known for 5 years (with a 4 year gap), and keep flirting with her guy in front of him? Er no, this girl doesn’t like an audience when she’s doing her thang. So proper introductions were made and boring it became. My guy seemed to be valiantly trying to get us back on track too, and I told him he owes me a drink. Then we mucked around about what I wanted- he knows full well but suggested about 4 drinks he knew I hated. John threw in his suggestion, which wasn’t far off (thanks to all those nights of drinking at our friends’ house) and I said, “he knows what I want,” pretty much at the same time as my guy said, “oh I know what she wants.” Hilares. So we were both trying to get it back to the flirt! My guy chose that moment to excuse himself, saying he had to go and talk to some people, but he’d come back to me with a drink.

Fucking cock blocked. Are you kidding me???

I could’ve cried, but had limited options at the time, and as I watched his head bob away through the crowd- he’s tall, and he was dancing the whole time (did I tell you he’s my kinda guy?), I watched my hopes of that drink, and further opportunity to get to know each other, walk away too.

The cock blocker just stood there and droned on and on about our friends who neither of us sees much of these days, and his job, and his split from his wife. Barely asked me anything about my life since then and just filled me in about him, and how hard it’s been to get his life back in order; and I tell you, it was such a downer. What a drainer!

After what seemed an interminably long time, I saw that familiar bobbing head coming my way. And when he moved around someone I could see he had two glasses in his hand. When he reached me, he said, “oh my god you were like a kid in a candy store just then!” Well, a girl likes to show her excitement, doesn’t she? It was as much for the drink as it was for the guy bringing it, but I had to focus on one of them first- and a free drink- especially when it’s the right one, brings joy to my face. So, to show my appreciation and get back on the flirt track, I leant over, practically elbowing John out of the way, and gave my guy a big kiss on the cheek. But guess what? John fucking well broke the mood again by saying some half assed smart ass remark! And off went my guy. Fucking cock blocked by the same fucking guy twice!! Can you believe it? Pfft!!!

I somehow managed to extricate myself after a little while and later on I was with a new friend I’d met and we were coming back from the loos and John was where we needed to walk through, so I introduced them. They had a good little chat but then she said she’d get a drink so I went with her. Within 30 seconds we had a shadow over us, and he was there asking if we’d ordered yet. I thought, hmmm, well perhaps he’ll be a gentleman and buy us a drink- seeing as he did cock block me- twice.

But when I got the bartender’s attention for him, he just ordered his drink. You’ve got to be bloody kidding me. Then he complained about the cost of the drink. Yeah mate, don’t complain, it should’ve been three drinks but you’ve just saved yourself a fucking fortune. Cheapskate fucking cockblocking cockhead.

Not everyone is socially skilled, but if that ever happens again I shall have to put myself first and excuse myself, with my guy, so we get the one on one time we need away from prying cockblockers. Course, maybe he’s switched teams since his divorce and was trying to have a crack too!

Xx Kit

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