Dating Kit

Adventures of a Single Girl…

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Irish pash for a hot chocoholic, Part two

Earl and I kept in touch after our first date at Hophaus Bier Bar Grill, and a few days after that night, we decided to go out on a second date. I’m always one for trying to take full advantage of having someone to go somewhere with. As a single woman, it’s not always easy to find someone to go places with. I know I can go on my own, but things aren’t as enjoyable on their own as they are with company. And yes, I have friends, and yes I hang out with them. But even the most boring destination doubles, or maybe even triples in enjoyment, when you’re hand in hand with a guy.

So, when we decided to spend Sunday together, I let my fingers do the walking and I found a Hot Chocolate festival being held at the Yarra Valley Chocolaterie & Ice Creamery.  I’d heard about it on the radio and had instantly wanted to go, so when I googled and found that it started that day, I was ecstatic!! I suggested it and he was all up for it. It meant I had to drive to his place across town and then we planned to go together.

Now, usually, I don’t go to a guy’s house, certainly not if I haven’t met him. But I’d met this one before, as we’d had a dinner date, and as he lives nearer to the festival it made more sense than us driving there separately. So I didn’t mind so much, especially as it was supposed to be just a quick stop in to pick him up. I’m not saying I relished the idea, because I’m always a fan of safety first, and then there’s the awkwardness I feel, but I’d been keen for this festival and if I had to go to his place to get there, I was going to do it.

So I sent his address to Gal Pal so that she would know where I’d last been in case I went missing. Hey, it’s not likely to happen, but it doesn’t hurt to have someone know where you are.

All was fine when I got to Earl’s. An easy kiss hello, and I felt super comfy with him at his place. He gave me a tour of his house. Why do guys insist on doing that? Feel free to answer this below, if you’re a guy!!  Even guy friends insist on giving me a tour when I first go to their house. They’re more house proud than women, I’ve found, and want to peacock about their earning power, potential and taste in decor, or so I think. I’m positive it’s to show off their ‘wealth’ and, more so, to show me where the bedroom is.

When the tour was finished, not surprisingly, at his bedroom, he ushered me down the hallway toward the lounge room. He did it with a hand on my back that felt so sexy. As he did, I made so10.08.16bme comment or other (so like me really, it was probably sarcastic as hell, but it was clearly a turn on for him) and suddenly he touched my ass. I turned around to playfully reprimand him and suddenly pre choc fest pash fest began. Interesting. And colourful too, as I was wearing a delish blend of 3 shades of pinky red lipsticks! By the time I came up for air (hello, nothing was getting in the way of my chocolate exploration!!) I looked like a cross between a 3 year old who’d gotten into her mum’s makeup collection, and a clown! And you know what, he did too!! God it was funny.

It was a lovely, cold but sunny winter’s day as he drove us to Yarra Valley to the Hot chocolate festival. If you’ve never been out that way, you should go for a drive. It’s beautiful and scenically green and so close to the city!! But when we got there, it seemed that everyone from Melbs h10.08.16aad had the same idea. We couldn’t move!! The car park was chockers, and though we managed to find a spot, we had to carefully walk through puddles and muddy pools to get to the building. And when we arrived, we found that some of the things we wanted to do were so crowded they were instantly ruled out. I’d wanted to buy a delish flavoured hot chocolate but, while they had stations set up outside and in, both queues were extremely long.

Instead, we wandered around the massive shop inside, and checked out our options from what was on display. They had all sorts there, including some of my faves, choc mint and choc orange. They also had soaps and other products but we weren’t quite sure if they were chocolate or just coco based. There was no way I was going to leave a chocolate festival without chocolate, so I bought some that I knew I’d enjoy at home by myself, and I bought him some too. Aren’t I nice?

As it was so crowded there, with about a zillion kids and their parents, we decided to split and find somewhere else for lunch.  I was disappointed it was so crowded, but the chocolate I brought home with me was absolutely divine, and the good thing was that I didn’t need to share it with a single snotty nosed kid, or anyone, for that matter!

For those interested in hitting the Hot Chocolate Festival, it’s on for the whole of August, so get into it!

I’m super keen to go back on a quiet day and really get to enjoy the hot chocolate. I had my heart set on it, and if the chocolate I brought home is any indication, it’ll be a hot cup of chocolatey heaven!!

Stay tuned for our lunch date; there’s more to follow…

Xx Kit

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Pasherooni, pasherooni!

Some say kiss, snog, lip lock, I call it ‘going the pash.’ And I, like most of us I assume, love a good pash!!

However, the first time you pash someone isn’t usually the fireworks scene depicted in movies. If it is, well done! You’ve hooked yourself a good one!

Over the first few dates, if your pash session doesn’t become toe curling, you’d better start asking yourself what you see in this guy!

Whether he’s around foLipsr a week or a lifetime, chances are you’re going to spend considerable time kissing, and if it isn’t great, then give him his marching orders quick smart! When it comes down to it, it really is in his kiss (that’s where it is!)

The first time I saw Nathan I thought, “wow, what a hottie!” At a minimum I knew I wanted to pash him.  Our first date went well and by the time we kissed we were in a frenzy! But then, not so much. We had completely different kissing styles. It was a shame because we were clearly attracted to each other. We went out a few more times and it was only the kissing that let us down. (well, it let me down anyway!)

About 2 weeks in, Nathan rang me and said it was over. After the initial shock wore off, I had to admit it to myself that he was right, although we got along really well (and we remained friends for ages) this kissing thing was an issue. I took it to be a symptom of future problems: if it’s not passionate, comfortable and co-ordinated, chances are other things will be a stretch too!

So, if after a couple of dates, or kisses, whichever the case may be, you’re still figuring out how to kiss each other, stop kissing!! It isn’t going anywhere good.

*What are your top tips for picking a tale worth telling runaway best kisser? Subscribe and share. *

Xx Kit

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Abrupt End to My “Office” Romance

It’s getting harder and harder to meet guys. Once upon a time, it was perfectly acceptable to meet a guy at work and date.

But these days, it’s become fraught with issues. There’ve been so many cases of sexual harassment in the news lately, that it’ll likely scare people from approaching each other. It’s probably safer that way, lest an approach be seen as untoward, or perhaps a violation.

However, a conversation I had reminded me of a time when I dated a colleague from work.

We were both working in hospitality, in a pub. He was one of the night security guards who worked checking ID and keeping us safe from unruly, and drunken customers. Basically, he was a bouncer.

He was keen to get into acting and regularly took classes. He was into looking good, and liked to work out, and keep fit.

He was a couple of years younger than me, and I didn’t have my drivers licence
. As he lived in the same suburb as me, on the nights he was working he’d often drive me home.

We got to know each other very well, and gradually we began dating. One of our first dates was going to Crown Casino after work to watch a midnight movie.

He lived in a bungalow in the backyard of his mum’s place, and often stayed there with him.

At the beginning, we tried to keep our relationship on the DL from our work mates. It just seemed that while we were starting out, it was safer. That way there’d be less gossiping and less drama. Colleagues we were friendly with soon picked up on it, and it wasn’t an issue. Gradually, word got out, and all was fine. We weren’t the first two people to get together in that workplace, and we wouldn’t have been the last.

After a little while, I noticed that my boyfriend had cigarettes in his car. He’d been so keen on fitness and looking good that it was very out of character. I wasn’t a smoker, and there he was with cigarettes in his car. I’ve never been keen on dating someone who smoked, so this was not good.

Then, one afternoon, he texted me that I’d left my pink hair bow at his place.

That was nice of him.

Except for one thing. I didn’t have a pink hair bow.

But I knew who did.

A girl we worked with was well known for wearing such hair accessories. She was more than a colleague, I counted her as a friend. But it turns out that she didn’t see me the same way, or she thought that it was more important to shag my boyfriend. Either way, charming.

And that was the end of that. I broke up with him immediately.

It was awkward at work for a little while, especially as I was no longer interested in being friends with either of them. Overall, there were no issues, but it wasn’t long before the bouncer left the building and went to work elsewhere.

I was upset with both of them for betraying me. I don’t know if he’d actually started smoking, or whether they were her cigarettes. I’d like to think he started smoking out of guilt for cheating on me, but who really knows?

A couple of years later, I saw him working in a video games shop. I couldn’t help but notice that he was a lot chubbier and less toned than he’d been when we’d known each other.

Another place I worked at sprouted lots of relationships. I know of two marriages from there, and now there are children. So it’s worked out well for those people.

All in all, I wouldn’t say that it’s a bad idea to date a workmate, but I can’t help but think about the downside of it. When it goes wrong, and relationships so often do, someone gets hurt, and then it can be on a large scale with a huge audience watching to see who’s dealing with it better. And let’s not forget that it could be a manager/ employee situation. What then? Even more awkward, with office politics thrown in.

It’s not something that should be rushed into, that’s for sure. If you’re crushing on someone you work with, try to imagine the bad parts as well as the good, and then decide if you want to get to know them better.

It’s nearly Christmas, and with workplace Christmas parties coming up, it’s especially important that you think about everything before you ‘accidentally’ find yourself under the mistletoe with that hottie you’ve been perving on, think first, and pash second. Many an end of year shindig has resulted in dance floor pashes which become office fodder by Monday morning, and that’ll be you if you’re not careful. It’s okay if it’s what you want, but make sure it’s with someone you’re actually interested in, and not someone who fished you out of the middle of a handbag circle for the hell of it, or because you looked the easiest to snare.

Remember, you deserve the best, whether it’s a pash, shag, or a relationship, it should be with someone you’re truly interested in, especially if it’s someone at work. There’s too much at risk, particularly your heart.

If you haven’t already, find me on facebook. Check me out at facebook.com/DatingKit

Xx
Kit

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Cougar Hunting

It’s a Jungle Out There and Young Guys Love Cougars

On the weekend I’m off to a function at a Melbs CBD pub that I quite like. I’m co organising it with a friend and it’s for a Meetup, and I suggested that pub because they have a band play on the weekends. It should be a great night for people who want to get out from behind their keyboards and phones and have fun with similarly minded peeps.
But, this morning I remembered another night I had there a while back.

Trophy Hunting

I’d met Sean online, as I do. We seemed to have some things in common. We both barracked for the same footy team, which is rare in this town, because my side is one of the smaller, less popular ones. That wasn’t what made me decide to meet him, but it was a good start.

When we did meet, it was at this pub for a few Friday night drinks.

He looked just like his picture, but that didn’t meant that I was all that attracted. For a scrawny bugger, he could sure put the pints away, but he was also buying my drinks- and getting the order right- which were two positives for the time being.

He set his sights on me, his next cougar- though that's not a title I accept

 

Cougar Qualities

I found that during our conversations, he would say, ‘oh you like chocolate? Tick.’ But he said it so often that I could almost picture the mental list he had in his head. And it was minor things as well as major. I’d say chocolate is minor, in this case, as it’s not exactly uncommon to like chocolate! I do the ‘tick’ thing occasionally too – in my head!! I’m not overly verbal about it, and not to the person to whom the tick applies!

Then, from across the table, he told me that if he kisses me it means we’re together. I nearly dropped my drink. How’s the presumption? And of course, quick sticks smart ass me said, “actually, I can tell you that if you kiss me it does not mean we’re together.” I must admit though, I kinda wanted him to kiss me just so I could show him that we’re were not an item.

He didn’t love my response, but then it also didn’t matter what he thought because a kiss does not a relationship make.

But another part of me wasn’t sure I wanted to kiss him. The drinks had loosened me up, and I was trying to have a good time, but I wasn’t completely sure about a pash, at that point.

All Whiskers, No Mane Event

Within minutes of the kissing convo we’d made our way to near the dance floor, now that we had a few drinks in us. The band had started, and had drawn us and plenty of others to the floor.
I was more than a bit awkward about going to the dance floor as I’d been there just 6 days earlier with a guy 45 times hotter than he was and had NO problem pashing him as soon as I could). Suddenly, Sean he was kissing me. But I tell you, hmmm, not so much. He does heaps of little bird kisses. Kinda annoying. And his goatee was a bit bristly or something. Besides, being on the same dance floor as I’d been with Hotstuff, I couldn’t help but compare the two. And, he was coming off a very distant second. Hotstuff was like a hot lion, Sean was more like a hyena hanging around, waiting to try to get into the game.

Cougar Town. She's gorgeous but I'm a gorgeous woman, not a cougar.

Coy Cub

A few minutes later when we found a booth and had a bigger pash, he didn’t really go for it. I thought, is that how he’s going to be when we shag? IF we ever shag?!! Hmmm. He got really embarrassed when some people at another booth started whooping and hollering at us but I just laughed it off. When we kissed again and they did it again I told him just to keep going. What’s the issue? Maybe he was self conscious about his kissing style. He had good reason to be, that’s for sure!
The conversation continued like a checklist. He wanted to know if I’d get all het up about a tea cup not being washed straight after it was used. Like I care?!! No, told him, who gives a rats about that stuff.

Cougar Town

Then he said I reminded him of a particular friend of his mum but that apparently I was a hybrid of several of them. My stomach turned. Hello, that’s not a compliment to a young woman! Admittedly I was about 8 years older than him, but gimme a break! When I reacted, and asked if he had a thing for older women he admitted that he’d gone out with a woman THIRTY years older than him for 3 years!! He was 19 and she turned 50 while they were together. I mean, we all have a past but what the fuck?!!
I think I was stunned speechless. I mean, come on!! It explains why he was keen on me, and didn’t mind the age gap but I suddenly felt very self conscious, and as though the whole thing had been a cougar hunt.
I don’t consider myself a cougar, and in fact, I’m often offended by it. The fact that I might occasionally be attracted to a guy who’s younger than me does not mean that I’m a cougar. The very word denotes that I’m just hanging around waiting for younger guys to hunt me and that’s far from the truth. I’m nobody’s kill, as it were. And although my name is Kit, if I’m going to be any type of cat, I’d be a gorgeous lioness.

Cuddly Cub

Anyway, he seemed fairly affectionate, and clearly he was interested in me, but I just couldn’t get past the itchy beard and strange expectations of us before we’d even started. I fully understood that he was lonely, and he’d told me that several family members had told him that he needed a girlfriend.
The next day I chatted with a mate of mine, and he said that Sean would probably be a good boyfriend. But, is it fair to keep someone around for the boyfriend experience? Sean seemed keen to do casual things like come over to watch movies (and I can tell you, it wasn’t likely to be a Netflix & Chill situation any time soon). I vaguely considered a shopping and lunch day with him because I thought it was casual enough not to be a full on date.
But in the end, I decided it just wasn’t fair to him to do that to him, and I friend zoned him instead. I can’t consciously use people, it’s just not in me. And frankly, this guy was just too odd for me and I have my own list for all the reasons I didn’t like him.

First date questions, and what turned me off

This first date reinforced to me that no matter what kind of guy crosses my path, I have to be me, and maintain my own standards. Using people isn’t me. And trying to like someone I don’t just won’t work. And it’s not fair to anyone. My time is more precious than that, and so is his.

Anyway, this time I’ll be there with good friends, and a great guy I met a little while back. His company is so wonderful that Sean will be but a moment of my past. In fact, I must tell you about him sometime…..

Xx
Kit

P.s. we did remain friends, and he, Gal Pal and a guy friend of mine, and I went out for New Years Eve. We all hung out together but then as midnight approached, we hit the dance floor. And, would you believe it, within minutes he’d scored himself a pash. WITH A GUY. They went home together, and when I texted him the next day to check he was okay (as far as I know he’d never been with a guy) he didn’t reply, and I never heard from him again. Wowser!

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Snug as a bug in a pub- Kit in the City

I went out recently to PJ O’Brien’s at Southgate in the CBD.

I was out with some friends, and it was a Friday night. I got there later than I’d usually get anywhere and the place was jumping.

It reminded me of all the dates I’ve had there. I’ll have to tell you about some of them but for now, let me tell you how it goes on a Friday night.

On this night, it had been bucketing down, but fortunately it had stopped raining a few minutes before my Uber arrived. The driver had to drop me off around the corner, which is the closest a car can get to the pub. I would have had to wait in the car if it was raining, because there’s no way I was going to walk around in the rain and walk in there looking like a drowned rat.

Instead, I was able to strut into that pub looking dry, and magnificent, as you do when you’re out for a fun night. I’d had a couple of drinks at home, to get me warmed up, and to save money, and they paid off.

I found my friends and 01-07-17bwe ordered a few drinks. Those guys had set up camp at the bar, right in front of the dance floor.

Soon after, one of the guys in the group wanted me to dance. They’d all started drinking long before I did, so they were much more ready than I was, but then a great song came on and I was off!

Unfortunately, it didn’t matter how good the song was, that dance floor was hard work. I wear high heels- not sky scrapers, but heels none the less.

The guy I was dancing with was trying to jive with me, so I had to manoeuvre him to another part of the pub so that we could dance on the smoother floor.

Seriously, the architects of that place didn’t think about people actually using that dance floor. Bricks? On the floor? Mentale!!

Not to mention that the dance floor is tiny, and is squeezed between the bar, and the stage which is also squeezed into a corner.

Of course, being a fully enclosed pub, there’s only so much space. But the band is squished into that corner as though it’s a cave on the side of a cliff.01-07-17

The band which was playing that night, Hey Charger, seemed pretty comfy in there, but apparently they play there regularly. And you know what? They’re really good!! They’re from Geelong, and they come up the highway to knock our socks off. The lead singer, Cailah has an amazing voice and she, along with the guys on guitar, bass and percussion, rocked us all night long.

I had a chat with Cailah later and she’s as fabulous when she’s not singing as when she is. It turns out she’d noticed me on the dance floor as much as I’d noticed her on stage. I really love when women admire each other rather than attack each other. That’s girl power!

Thanks to the music, and despite the conditions underfoot, I was hitting that dance floor hard. We danced together and with other people. Everywhere I turned, I found another guy ready to dance with me. It was a blast!!

I’d had just enough to drink that I was relaxed enough to have a great time. I was a woman who was out, having fun with her friends and meeting people.

At one stage, when I was dancing with one of my friends, he turned around and another guy was there and we danced a little. I’d had my eye on him but he’d been busy talking to lots of women, as I’d been talking to lots of men. We had a bit of a dance and then we were separated.

Later on, I went to the bar and asked for a piece of paper and a pen. I wrote my name and number on that piece of paper and tucked it away into my dress until an opportune moment presented itself.

And, soon enough, I saw him on his own a little later and went over to him. I said I couldn’t stay to chat, and put the piece of paper onto the table next to his drink. He asked what it was, and I said, “it’s my number, and I suggest you use it,” and I walked off.

Later on, as everything was winding down for the pub to close, I was walking across the dance floor and saw that one of my friends and this guy were talking. I walked up and heard my friend thanking him for something. I interjected and asked if they knew each other. My friend said, no but he made us feel really welcome earlier.

I saw that as an opportunity and turned to the cute guy and said, ‘oh, then this is Darryl,” and pointed to my friend, and then said, “but wait, I don’t know your name.” Then he told me, Simon. Slick, eh?! That little trick paid off a few days later, I can tell you!

Darryl wandered off, and Simon and I chatted briefly. He asked me if I was going out with my friends next, and I said, “oh no, I’ll likely be heading home, what about you?” He said, very pointedly, “me too, but I live just around the corner.” “Well,” I said, “that’ll be a lovely short walk for you.” Then he said, “do you want to come?” To which I replied, “who do you think you’re talking to? Have a good night.”

I don’t know if Simon truly thought I’d come with him, but if I’d agreed, he wouldn’t exactly have said he was joking. But under no circumstances would I be willing to go back to the place of a guy I’ve barely even spoken to. I don’t know him! So, that’s a big no.

And I walked off to the toilet, rejoined my friends, and went home- alone. I’d had a great night, danced myself crazy and had a lovely flirtation with a new guy. I may not have gotten myself a pash in the Snug, but I had a great night. And really, what more could a girl want?

Xx

Kit

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