Dating Kit

Adventures of a Single Girl…

Brave, Independent, Single Woman- getting it done

See this thing?

Years ago, my ex husband bought it, and I laughed and laughed. I thought, what an idiot! Who would use that thing?

Well, yesterday, it was my saving grace. I’m terrified of spiders and I had to put my Christmas stuff and spare chairs back into the shed.

This week I’ve been going through all my things and deciding what to keep and what I don’t want.

I texted my sisters for support, and tucked my phone into my waistband.

So, when I put my gardening gloves on and opened the shed door, I realised, that job wasn’t finished. With the Christmas boxes out of the shed, I could see what was sitting in there already.

It’s a small shed, but it holds plenty. I come from a big family who grew up in a small house, and if there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s pack stuff. And last year, my dad came over, and we put two clever heads together and packed it really well.

At the time, there were possessions which I wasn’t sure about. I wasn’t using them but I wasn’t ready to get rid of them, either.

But yesterday, with not many bucks in the bank, I thought, bugger it, they’re taking up space and it’s been years and I still haven’t used them. Do I really need a second tool kit? And what about that balance board I used to love but haven’t used in years?

It’s also hard rubbish time in my neighbourhood shortly, so I figured I could get rid of all the things which are so old I’ll never use- like the picnic chairs which had previously been left outdoors for too long. All this meant I had some work to do.

It was bloody hot yesterday, so apart from the risk of spiders which were terrifying me (though I couldn’t see any so far), the heat was going to keep me from staying in there too long.

Time restriction or not, I still had to get in there and do the job.

So I braced myself and grabbed a shovel that I could reach, and used it to grab this device. Then I used it, or the shovel, to reach for things or move them out of the way so that I could reach the next thing.

It probably wasn’t as fast as just going in there and picking things up, but I was able to lift or shove what I needed to. Picking up bottles of methylated spirits, and tins of paint put a strain on this device, but it worked!
And yes, I forced myself to go in and grab things. But I was like lightning!!

I really don’t know how everything fit in there before, but now it fits better and there’s space (which I seem to be craving this week), thanks to the stuff I pulled out. And lucky me, I had no encounters with live spiders. Woohoo!

Now I have to figure out how to sell this stuff, or it’ll all have to go on hard rubbish next month.

These are the types of jobs that single women have to do. We can’t just wait for someone to come along and do them for us- instead, we just have to do it. And I found a way to get it done. I’m proud of myself. Thank God I don’t have to admit to my ex husband that his idea was a good one.

pssst, are you following me on Insta? Do it!

Xx

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Abrupt End to My “Office” Romance

It’s getting harder and harder to meet guys. Once upon a time, it was perfectly acceptable to meet a guy at work and date.

But these days, it’s become fraught with issues. There’ve been so many cases of sexual harassment in the news lately, that it’ll likely scare people from approaching each other. It’s probably safer that way, lest an approach be seen as untoward, or perhaps a violation.

However, a conversation I had reminded me of a time when I dated a colleague from work.

We were both working in hospitality, in a pub. He was one of the night security guards who worked checking ID and keeping us safe from unruly, and drunken customers. Basically, he was a bouncer.

He was keen to get into acting and regularly took classes. He was into looking good, and liked to work out, and keep fit.

He was a couple of years younger than me, and I didn’t have my drivers licence
. As he lived in the same suburb as me, on the nights he was working he’d often drive me home.

We got to know each other very well, and gradually we began dating. One of our first dates was going to Crown Casino after work to watch a midnight movie.

He lived in a bungalow in the backyard of his mum’s place, and often stayed there with him.

At the beginning, we tried to keep our relationship on the DL from our work mates. It just seemed that while we were starting out, it was safer. That way there’d be less gossiping and less drama. Colleagues we were friendly with soon picked up on it, and it wasn’t an issue. Gradually, word got out, and all was fine. We weren’t the first two people to get together in that workplace, and we wouldn’t have been the last.

After a little while, I noticed that my boyfriend had cigarettes in his car. He’d been so keen on fitness and looking good that it was very out of character. I wasn’t a smoker, and there he was with cigarettes in his car. I’ve never been keen on dating someone who smoked, so this was not good.

Then, one afternoon, he texted me that I’d left my pink hair bow at his place.

That was nice of him.

Except for one thing. I didn’t have a pink hair bow.

But I knew who did.

A girl we worked with was well known for wearing such hair accessories. She was more than a colleague, I counted her as a friend. But it turns out that she didn’t see me the same way, or she thought that it was more important to shag my boyfriend. Either way, charming.

And that was the end of that. I broke up with him immediately.

It was awkward at work for a little while, especially as I was no longer interested in being friends with either of them. Overall, there were no issues, but it wasn’t long before the bouncer left the building and went to work elsewhere.

I was upset with both of them for betraying me. I don’t know if he’d actually started smoking, or whether they were her cigarettes. I’d like to think he started smoking out of guilt for cheating on me, but who really knows?

A couple of years later, I saw him working in a video games shop. I couldn’t help but notice that he was a lot chubbier and less toned than he’d been when we’d known each other.

Another place I worked at sprouted lots of relationships. I know of two marriages from there, and now there are children. So it’s worked out well for those people.

All in all, I wouldn’t say that it’s a bad idea to date a workmate, but I can’t help but think about the downside of it. When it goes wrong, and relationships so often do, someone gets hurt, and then it can be on a large scale with a huge audience watching to see who’s dealing with it better. And let’s not forget that it could be a manager/ employee situation. What then? Even more awkward, with office politics thrown in.

It’s not something that should be rushed into, that’s for sure. If you’re crushing on someone you work with, try to imagine the bad parts as well as the good, and then decide if you want to get to know them better.

It’s nearly Christmas, and with workplace Christmas parties coming up, it’s especially important that you think about everything before you ‘accidentally’ find yourself under the mistletoe with that hottie you’ve been perving on, think first, and pash second. Many an end of year shindig has resulted in dance floor pashes which become office fodder by Monday morning, and that’ll be you if you’re not careful. It’s okay if it’s what you want, but make sure it’s with someone you’re actually interested in, and not someone who fished you out of the middle of a handbag circle for the hell of it, or because you looked the easiest to snare.

Remember, you deserve the best, whether it’s a pash, shag, or a relationship, it should be with someone you’re truly interested in, especially if it’s someone at work. There’s too much at risk, particularly your heart.

If you haven’t already, find me on facebook. Check me out at facebook.com/DatingKit

Xx
Kit

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Who’s Your Daddy? Looking for a Daddy for my Babies

My boy is looking for a father figure.

Yes, I know, it’s a bit crazy, because lots of you would know that I don’t have children.

But I do have two cats, a boy and a girl, who are twins.

When I was still married, our pussy cats were quite timid and scared of guests. They loved us, but were terrified of everyone else. They spent all their time under our bed, whenever we had people over, including family. If we had a party, they’d come out at about 3am, when they’d given up putting off waiting for food, water or the toilet. And even then, they’d make a mad dash through the room to their destination.

When my dad came over, my boy would sit on his lap, and would stay there for the whole visit. My girl has always been more aloof. She was fine as long as she could see everything, but she was happy to sit at a distance and keep an eye out.

Daddy’s Boy 
My ex husband and I worked opposite shifts back then, so, after I went to work, he was home with the babies for several hours before bed. I heard tales of nights spent cuddled on the beanbag while my ex played PS3 and one or other cat sat with him and watched.

Since my ex husband and I split, the baby cats have really matured. I can’t explain it because I don’t understand it. When I have friends over, they come out to meet them, particularly if they’ve met them before. They’re keen to see people, and interact, but it’s mostly my boy who’s curious and keen. 27-09-17-jensen

Cat & Mouse
When I’ve had guys over, my boy has come and introduced himself to them. My girl checks them out, but she really doesn’t give a toss.

But, my boy, well, he’s the one on their lap, rolling around, and mooching with them. He doesn’t like all of them, but he does like most of them. It’s like he can’t help himself. He insists on sitting on their lap, digging his claws into their legs, and showing them the belly that he won’t let them rub.

He went through a mourning period after my ex husband moved out, and no doubt he experiences a little of that each time. A couple of years after our split, I found one of my ex husband’s socks under the bed, and my boy rolled around on it for hours and hours.

The bean bags are gone, and no one plays PS3 anymore. From me, my boy gets play, and plenty of cuddles, and he gets to watch reality tv and the occasional animal show. But it’s not guy time, and he seems to crave it. 27-09-17-jensen-ackles

Sleeping With One Eye Open and Two Ears Pricked Up
I don’t have that many guys over, but there have been a few, and in his way, he’s bonded with each of them. I don’t know how he feels when he doesn’t see them again, but I can imagine.

It can’t be helped, as I’m a firm believer of happy mummy, happy babies, but one day, I’ll find someone that I’m happy to keep around, and he’ll find his forever daddy.

 

Don’t forget to hit me up on facebook for day to day updates of my dating life.

Xx
Kit

 

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Father’s Day Upset for a Childless Woman

Usually it’s Mother’s Day that gets me emotional, but this time it was Father’s Day.

 

Casual Observations

As I walked through the bistro of the pub, toward my dad during Sunday’s Father’s Day lunch, I saw lots of young families enjoying their day.

And it occurred to me, I’ll never have any of what they’re experiencing. Those dads are young, virile, and they’re celebrating the joys which being young and virile have brought them, children. Father’s Day is all about that; seeing what you’ve done, the results of all of your hard work. And, those children take the opportunity to give back, in hugs, kisses and crappy presents, which hopefully increase in quality over the years.

Their wives play a huge part in this day too, as per all the other days in their lives. They had the foresight to choose and snap up that young man when he was at his best, full of hope, life and plans for a future that he was willing to share with them. And all has worked out well for them, because here they are, celebrating Father’s Day, just a few short years later with their home made tribe of children. They’re running around, throwing shoes and socks off in abandon so that they can go into the playroom, laughing and screaming, as kids do.

Whether at the pub for lunch, in the car, or home, these dads are constantly teaching all those skills they once yearned to pass on that their dads had taught them as they grew up.

Looking on at all of this are the proud grandparents who began it all. They’re seeing their children who’ve grown into more than they could ever have imagined they’d become. They would have hoped for grandchildren, and here, before their eyes, are all their dreams come true.

But as I walked through that bistro, it all became very real for me. I don’t have the husband, or the children. I’ll never see my husband proudly pick up our child, or show them how to07-09-17-dk pump up a bike tyre. And my dad will never see me become the mum he hoped I’d become.

Tricking the Mind

My vision of what I’d teach my kids has become so blurry that I no longer feel I have anything to teach. And, all those things I mentioned in a previous post will stay with me, and go no further. It’s such a shame. Just like all the memorabilia I’d once kept from my childhood, there’s no one to pass it on to. I’ve had to make some hard choices over the last few years, and I’ve thrown out most of my old keepsakes.

In the same way, my memory has decided to erase the tips and tricks I once stored for the future. That space in my memory has been freed up for the needs of my daily life. I’d like to think that if I’d had children, I’d be able to teach them the old stuff, while doing the current stuff that life brings, but who knows? Now I don’t have to worry about that.

The Painful Truth

It’s been 6 years since I was told that I have unexplained infertility, and, unlike some memories, it’s an issue that I can’t erase from my life.

Every day, there are numerous reminders, obvious and not so. Facebook is a killer. Friends and family posting pics of their children sleeping, in the bath, getting a trophy for turning up to school. It’s crazy.

Online posts, conversations, television, are all littered with references to children that other people have, and I don’t and won’t have.

I’m happy for these people, it’s not even jealousy. It’s just how it is. There are plenty of women like me out there. We get on with life, and try not to get caught up in all the reminders. But there are days when it’s unavoidable. And, sometimes it comes suddenly, and without warning. It could be a song, tv ad, facebook post, or just a memory of how I thought my life was going to be.

Curative Care

The fact that it hasn’t turned out the way I’d planned doesn’t mean it’s a bad life. It’s just not what most people have, and that can be difficult to live with. I work, dance, write, spend quality time with my friends, raise my two cats, and I’ve started my dating coaching business. I’m a busy woman, and, one of the most fulfilling parts of my life is sharing my stories and adventures with you. So, I’m getting there, wherever “there” is.

 

So, on Sunday, at Father’s Day lunch with my dad, I did what I always do. I blinked away the tears, and walked back to my dad, and we laughed and talked about old times and new. Life goes on, and living in the past doesn’t do anyone any good.

For daily memes and updates, and to see where I’m spending my time, head to facebook

Xx

Kit

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Diary of a sick chick

This week I was hit with a bug like no other. It started with me just feeling really strange after a few drinks out on a Friday night. I didn’t have many and came home pretty early, so it wasn’t the drinks.

By the time I got home to my bed, I just felt odd. For the last month or so, I’d been saying that I felt like I was constantly fighting off a cold. And I remember thinking, last Friday night, that maybe I should just get it over with.

Well, careful what you wish for. I’m no fool, I knew that by thinking it, it could actually happen. Sometimes I do make things happen by thinking them, and I knew, even while I thought it, that it would happen.

So I woke up feeling pretty low on Saturday morning. I had no energy, my arms felt really weak- ironically, they’re the first thing to feel the effects of alcohol, but of course, I wasn’t drunk, certainly not in the morning.

I decided to have a full couch day, which is pretty unusual for me. I’m a go, go, go kinda gal. I’ve always got projects underway, and things to do. I never feel bored at home, because there’s always something to do. I might not be happy with what I have to do (like housework) but it doesn’t ever mean I’ve got nothing to do.

So I put on the tv and caught up on some shows I’d taped.

Sunday came and I felt no better, but didn’t feel worse, so that was good. And, I had a visit from a guy I’d met a couple of weeks before, and cuddles certainly made me feel somewhat human.

But by Monday, oh no, the coughing came, and everything was hellish.

In the past, when I’ve gotten sick, I’ve been prepared. I’ve been quite sickly in the past, so I always had what I needed.  But this time, for all my fending off, I didn’t see this coming. I’ve had a strange couple of weeks leading up to this (we might get to that another time), so getting sick wasn’t on the agenda.

All week I’ve been home on my own. I didn’t leave the house from when I got home on Friday night until Wednesday. I had meetings to go to that I had to cancel. My car had a service booked, but I had to reschedule that because when the time came, there was no way I could leave the house. I barely slept at night for all the coughing. I got a few hours at a time, and then woke up and coughed for hours. I was exhausted.

Apparently, it’s going around. People are saying it’s the flu, but I had a flu jab before winter came, and so I’d refused to believe it was that. I barely took any medication because when I was in the thick of it, I had no clue what to do, which just shows how bad this bug is, because I’m very used to looking after myself when I’m sick. It’s like I needed someone to tell me how to look after myself, for a change. All I had in the house was some cold & flu tablets, no Strepsils or honey to suck on during the night, which I usually would have.

When I eventually left the house, I went to the supermarket to stock up on foods that would be somewhat healthy, but mostly filling. But the main criteria was that I didn’t have to put any effort into cooking them before I could eat them. It didn’t even occur to me to buy Strepsils or honey. Those thoughts came to me when I was telling the guy I’d met what I usually have and use when I’m sick. What a chump I was not to have thought of that earlier, but that’s how sick I’ve been.

Luckily, what I did have was people at the end of the phone, and online who kept in touch with me and to whom I could reach out to ensure I felt somewhat sane.

The new guy was great. Though he was working interstate, he texted and called regularly and rang me with soothing words.

By the time Friday came around, he was back and I thought I was better. I thought it was ‘that day.’ You know the day when you finally feel like you’re better and can slowly get back into life? For me, that means changing my sheets, putting some music on (and it was RnB Friday on Fox FM!), and starting to make plans again. I cleaned up all the tissues which were all over the floor around my bed, and opened the windows to get some circulation throughout my house.

So when the new g12-08-17-dkuy asked me if I wanted to something that night, I thought, for sure. The night before, when he’d asked, I’d baulked at going to the movies, because I was worried I’d cough through it and ruin it for everyone. But by the time he came to pick me up, I was feeling so much better, and my cough had dissipated, so we decided to go.

Alas, throughout the movie, my cough came on. It makes sense, as the day goes on, it usually does, but we went to an early movie, and I’d hoped it wouldn’t. Anyway, every time I coughed, or reached for popcorn or a drink, he’d rub my back, which was really sweet, and soothing. If I’d been with my ex husband at that movie, he would have tried to make me leave because he wouldn’t have liked the attention my coughing was drawing- toward him. But this guy said it was fine, when I asked him if it was annoying and bothering people.

We went for dinner afterwards, and I thought pizza would be perfect for me, not too filling, but yummy enough and not sick food, and it was great, apart from one mouthful. I’m guessing some chilli fell into the sauce because one piece was so hot it made my eyes water, and had me reaching for my drink at record speed. The rest of the pizza had no hints (I didn’t eat it all, but ate the rest the next day and it was all normal, no chilli).

But, it could have been the chilli or the popcorn, or just being out at night even though I was rugged up well and, actually, there’s barely been a time when I’ve had no scarf on this week, and that includes when I’ve been at home. During the night, after only a couple of hours’ sleep (as per every other night), I woke up coughing again, but it was a cough much worse than I’d had all week. This was the cough that starts and goes on and on and on. All week I’d been coughing up gunk (that’s classy) which I know has to happen to get rid of the infection. But this was different.

No doubt I was disturbing the new guy, who despite me being deathly sick, was willing to stay over. All night I’d felt his cuddles, even when I was awake coughing, and it was lovely, but I felt bad for the broken sleep he was now getting.

Then I woke up slightly, as I could hear him moving around, getting dressed. I did that thing where you know you’re on the brink of waking up, but if you stay strong, you could stay asleep. So I did that, tried really hard. I knew I’d been actually sleeping (not coughing) before that, and I wanted more. Instead, he came over and told me he was going home. It was 9am! After he left, I went straight back to sleep and didn’t wake up until 12

That’s the problem with all the coughing. Eventually exhaustion overtakes me, and I sleep and sleep- even if it’s at the wrong time.

But those three hours were GOLD.

I had planned to see the new guy again that night, but after going back to bed for a little nap in the afternoon (yes, just a few hours after I’d woken up), I slept for TWO WHOLE HOURS, and realised going out was not a good idea. We’d planned a couple of drinks in town, but the thought of getting dressed up and going out in public, where I could encounter more germs, didn’t thrill me.

New guy, being the gentleman that he is, completely understood. So maybe I’ll have some stories to tell you about my times with him, and hopefully they won’t involve any more incessant coughing. If he can not only tolerate me being sick, but be willing to spend time with me while I’m sick, then he could just be a keeper. It’s nice, for a change, to have someone want to look after me, rather than me being completely alone- especially when I’m sick. My ex husband would have banished me to the couch rather than hear me cough, or risk getting sick. Charming isn’t it? But it shows how nice the new guy is.

For now though, it’s couch, cats, and movies, like The Switch. Alas, it’s made me laugh too many times, and then the coughs came. But it’s an old fave, and seeing Jason Bateman always cheers me up, especially before- hopefully, a full 8 hours’ sleep.

Xx

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