Dating Kit

Adventures of a Single Girl…

The Revhead Who Stalled My Engine

It’s Grand Prix time in Melbourne and that’s usually a pretty exciting time to be here. If you’re not from Melbourne, we’re a social city and have lots going on all the time, but we step it up for big occasions, like the GP or our AFL Grand Final.

People come from all over the world for these events, and the locals get excited too, because we are a sporting nation, and Melbourne is our sporting capital. I’ve been before, when I was married. My husband bought tickets for us and my sister, for her birthday. I’m not into cars of any kind, but as I’m always keen to experience new things, I went along.

It was loud, and busy, and as it was the Sunday – the day of the final – Albert Park Lake was abuzz with excitement.  It was a fun day, but meh. Not my thing.

A couple of weeks ago, I was offered tickets to the GP, which was very cool! It’s held over four days, the first three being heats for the big race, and races of various other kinds of vehicle.  I’m not into car racing at all, so I wouldn’t think to take time off work on the Thursday and Friday. It’s cheaper to get in on those days but of course there’s less exciting stuff going on. At the weekend, I couldn’t afford to buy the ticket at all.

But, I’m not as into car racing as lots of people are. I’ve met men who are maaaaaaaaaaad for it. Frankly, I don’t get it. It bores me silly.  Not only am I not into it, I actually quite dislike it. I find it extremely bogan, and just completely removed from the world I live in and the life I live. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still the cash poor single woman who started this blog years ago, but I’m just not into cars.

I don’t get the car culture. In Australia, you’re either a Holden fan or a Ford fan. And then there’s V8s, Moto GP, Formula One, and the rest. Whatevs!! People get around wearing clothes with car brand logos on them and I just groan. If they’re wearing a t shirt with a logo on it, I can cope. But it’s when they wear the t shirt, and the jacket and the hat or the beanie. It’s too much!

Fortunately, my ex husband wasn’t into it. Of course, he also didn’t have his driver’s licence, which actually would have actually been helpful! Anyhoo, as I’m not into the car racing thing, the type of guy who is, doesn’t exactly fit into ‘my type’ of guy.

But, a couple of years ago, after I was divorced, and I was back on the dating scene, one such guy popped up. We chatted online and he seemed nice enough. I think his name was Darren, but to be honest, I hadn’t thought about him in years, until something about the GP brought him back to the fore. My colleague and I were talking about the type of people I’d be seeing at the GP- and there he was in my mind.

At the time I ‘met’ him, I was being open to all sorts of men. I knew the type of man I’d married, but knew that here was my chance to widen my scope and not be so stuck on a particular type. And, a guy who was into car racing was definitely beyond my scope! Not only was he into cars, but he was a pit crew member. I know, of all the guys I could possibly meet! Sooooo not fair!

I can’t remember the chats, but I’ve never been one to go on a date for the hell of it, so there must have been some sort of substance to our conversations for me to have gone ahead with setting up a date with him.

We arranged to meet at Crown casino, at a bar which has long since closed down. It was evening, and I’d dressed for drinks at Melbourne’s biggest establishment. Crown was more fancy back then, and going there was an occasion. Knowing me, I would have worn a cute dress or perhaps some shorts and a top- and high heels, I nearly always wear high heels, especially on a date.

Darren and I texted while we each approached the bar, and when I got there he was there, sitting at a closed part of the bar. My eyes nearly popped out of my head. There he was, facing the door on a bar stool, as though he was a king sitting on his throne.

That was okay, but what the hell was he wearing? I’ll tell you. It was a jacket which was so big and so long, and so completely covered in car badges- EMBLAZONED with badges for various models, accessory brands, sponsors. It was gross. And it was NOT date attire. When I pointed out his jacket (not the first words out of my mouth!!), he talked all about it, and his job. He was so keen on it, that he had no idea that I’d completely tuned out and was only giving him eye contact, and no actual attention. Then, of course, he told me aaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllll about his job on the pit crew for whatever type of car racing he was into. I’ve no idea, and I don’t think I did at the time.

I remember enjoying my drink immensely, because it was the highlight of the night.

I made up some bullshit about having to go and meet friends (which is also another great reason to look amazing when you go out, because you can say you’re going out afterwards, even if you’re not), and hotfooting it out of there.

I think we texted a little in the following days, but that was it. There’s no way I could continue to go out with a guy who thinks it’s acceptable to wear racing gear on a date. Do I wear my netball uniform? Nope. They’d probably like that, but no. If I was into cooking, would I wear an apron? No, because it’s not what you wear on a bloody date!

He’s done, and so am I with dating people who don’t know how to dress to impress me. End of.

Xx

Kit

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Sunset on the Day, not the Friendship

A few months ago I told you about my dear friend Kez who had just died, having lived, and suffered, her whole life with Cystic Fibrosis.

Recently, it was the first birthday for which she was no longer around to celebrate.

I was away at the time, on a much awaited holiday.

At Kez’s funeral, a few of her friends and I had discussed getting together on her birthday, to break bread and celebrate her life. Generally, I don’t like hearing people say that So and so “wouldn’t like you to be unhappy” or whatever. But as we discussed getting together, it really did feel like something Kez would love. She loved to celebrate, and particularly with good company, and who better than her friends?

However, when the time came, it wasn’t possible as her birthday fell during the week, and we all live scattered across Melbourne. So, I booked my holiday, leaving on her birthday and decided that I’d do something on my own to commemorate her day- the first completely pain, cough and everything else, free. I thought maybe I’d go somewhere and have a nice dinner and raise a glass to her, and throughout the day I thought that watching the sunset might be lovely, too. I was sad about being alone for the day, but then, Kez and I’d had many birthdays apart, due to her illness, and us living on other sides of our fair city.

I was at Surfers Paradise, at a hotel 200m from the beach, and throughout the day had thought how lovely it would be to watch the sunset and reflect upon her life and our many moments together.

But, the day was full of travel and checking in, and soon the day was coming to a close. I was on the phone with New Guy and googling when the sun should set, and where the best vantage points were.

I stepped out onto my balcony and turned my head and saw that the sun was setting. I started telling New Guy why it was so important that I watch the sunset. I’d made a commitment to myself, and to Kez, and wanted that time with her. New Guy said that I should be happy she’s not in pain, and of course I was grateful for that, but it doesn’t diminish the pain and loss.

Inevitably, the tears cascaded down my cheeks, as I talked, and suddenly I realised that maybe there was a better spot from which to view it.

I rushed to the door, and looked down the hallway, and there at the end was a large window through which I saw the most vivid colours in the sky behind the nearby buildings and hills.

Of course, this just made me cry even harder as I tried to explain what I was seeing and why I was so upset. Then I realised that trying to explain was ruining the moment, so we signed off and I watched the view.

I got a lovely text from New Guy soon after saying that I’ll be okay, and to enjoy the view with my friend. Exactly. Through all the tears and half sentences, he’d gotten it.

Sunset on the Day, Not on the FriendshipSo, I stood there, taking pic after pic and enjoying the spectacle of it all. I knew that there was one thing missing from this scene, which was in my plans- a drink! So I raced back to my room and poured myself a Galliano and took it back to the window ledge.

It was a cloudless sky, and it was like a miracle was occurring before my eyes, as the colours changed over and over again.

I was just standing there, eyes front, taking it all in, and suddenly, a single bird flew across the sky. I watched it soar in front of the sunset, so calmly and effortlessly. Instantly I thought, that’s Kez. It’s weird, I know, and even in the moment I wondered why I’d think that. But, looking around that bird, I saw no others! It was beyond crazy, and most definitely a sign.

As I continued to watch the sunset, memories flooded back to me, and I enjoyed them as though they had all happened yesterday, but they were all months old at least.

And then, through the tears, and as though soundtracking my memories, I started to realise that I could hear a song playing.

I tuned in, and couldn’t believe my ears. It was the guitar riff from the end of Hotel California. I couldn’t believe it. How long had it been playing and I hadn’t realised? Well, obviously, the whole song because this comes at the end. But had they just turned it up? Or had it been playing the whole time and I’d only just noticed?

Whatever had actually happened, I didn’t care. It was yet another sign and I was both elated and freaking out, because that was a song that meant a lot to us. Years before, I’d gone to the Eagles concert with my husband, and had called Kez during that song (that’s the sort of thing I did if I was at a concert and a friend loved a certain song). We’d sung to each other down the phone line and gotten to enjoy the night together, at least in part.

And now, hearing the song while the gorgeous sun set over that Queensland horizon, it was as though she was saying, “that WAS me flying high, I was visiting you and showing you I’m okay!”

While I don’t go around spouting spirituality, I defo have experiences like this, and I’m open to them.

As I watched the last colour fade from view, I realised that if I put the initial stunned amazement aside, it made perfect sense that Kez would visit me, and on her birthday of all days; what a gift it was.

When the sky was completely dark, I left the window and returned to my hotel room. I dashed out to get dinner and came back in time to watch the Finale of The Bachelor.

That was a disastray, but I reckon Kez would have been laughing at me. Halfway through I was so sure of the ending that I got bored. Though I’m on a self imposed text/ social media ban during the Bachelor, I started chatting with friends. That never happens, but it did this time, and the chick who ‘won’ was earthy and crafty, exactly the sort of chick that Kez would have chosen for Matty J. Pfft.

The next day, I went out to explore the area. I’d wanted to go and get a picture of the “Surfer’s Paradise” sign which overlooks the ocean. It was a couple of blocks from my hotel, but I went the long way, getting to know the shops and restaurants along the way.

When I reached the sign, there were lots of other tourists there taking pics. I’d had no idea that it was such a tourist attraction. I felt a bit silly taking a picture of it, and it occurred to me that in Surfers’ small way, it was like the Hollywood sign. So I thought, fuck it, who cares? And I got my phone out.

Again, a lone sea gull flew across the sky and through my shot. Can you believe it? I was on one side of the road and at the other side, was the beach. The beach is a sea gulla mecca!! Looking around, I again saw no other birds. I sent up a silent, “thanks Kezzington,” and bought myself a twistie potato in celebration.
Sunset on the Day, Not on the Friendship
I defo felt that I’d celebrated the life of Kez, and hadn’t been as alone as I’d thought I’d be.

P.s. I typed this up outside my building while at lunch, with lots of people around me, and the tears flowed as freely as they did on Kez’s birthday.

Then I went back inside, and got back to work. I’d been listening to one of my playlists before lunch. I’d only installed Spotify on my computer that same day. When I hit play again, a song came on that I didn’t recognise. When I looked at the title, I nearly fell off my chair. Take a look at the pics below. As you can see, the song is not in that playlist.

Sunset on the Day, Not on the FriendshipXx Kit

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Daughter/ Father’s Day

Father’s Day is this Sunday, here in Australia, and a conversation I had with a friend recently involved us talking about my dad and his gentlemanly nature.

Family Roots
It’s obvious where it comes from. His father before him was a sweet soul. For Valentine’s Day, he’d buy and post each of us girls a Valentine’s card. Women outnumber men in my family, and he sent them to his daughters in law and granddaughters. It was such a sweet gesture which I remember fondly, and I miss him even more every time I think about it.

So, it’s no wonder that my dad has inherited some of that sweet nature, and put his own twist on it.  01-09-17-dk

HIStory
He hasn’t had an easy life, raising 5 kids with my mum, on a teacher’s salary. For many years he worked weekends as well. At the time, especially while I was at school, I didn’t realise that it meant he was working 7 days a week. That’s 7 days a week, all year round. He worked hard so that we could have holidays, and so that we could go on school excursions, and buy clothes when we outgrew what we had.
We were never spoiled, but in hindsight, I don’t think we went without either. We were lucky to grow up in an age of books rather than ipads, and both of my parents instilled a love of reading into each of us, and fostered it by their weekly trips to the library.

Working Hard for the Money
In addition to the two jobs I’ve mentioned, he also worked part time cleaning toilets at our school, and he had a small screen printing business that he ran from our garage. That involved many cold nights, and I recall him standing there in lots of layers and his fave old beanie while I brought him coffee. I don’t remember him ever rejecting a cuppa, but no doubt they weren’t all perfect!

Over the years, I spent many hours in the garage with dad, or riding around or playing in the yard while he worked, and he taught me lots of important things about repairing and recycling things, woodworking etc. For example, without him, I wouldn’t have a clue about measuring twice and cutting once. That’s a lesson that applies to life, not just carpentry. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg of what he’s taught me about odd jobs, being a good person, contributing to society and the community, and working hard for the money I’m earning.

Future Plans
On Sunday, my dad and I will be going out for lunch. In recent years, my siblings have been busy during the day, and it’s worked out that he and I go for lunch. It’s a lovely day, that I look forward to, and I do again now. He has a girlfriend, but she leaves us to our own devices, which I really appreciate. It’s fabulous to have that time together, to honour our life together. It’s a chance for us to be father and daughter, without other siblings, and grandchildren around. After all, without him, I wouldn’t be here, living life, kicking goals and dancing into my future. We can discuss whatever we want, and hopefully, enjoy a gorgeous sunny Melbourne day. He lives near the beach, so that add to the atmosphere. Paws crossed the weather cooperates!

Framing the Past
dad-01-09-17Recently, while I was on the phone with my dad, I was doing a job I’d put off for too long. I was looking at photo frames, and pictures to put in them, with an aim of making a photo wall in my dining room. I’d been gathering photos and great cards to frame, and while we talked, it occurred to me that I needed more pictures, and did I have one of dad?

I picked up a frame I’d had for a long time, and realised that the picture in it was upside down. It was strange really, because I remember when my mum put that birthday card. She and dad had given me the card and she’d framed it for me so I could see it all the time. I’ve had it packed away for years, but when I lived at home, it sat on a shelf in my room. It was never upside down. And yet, years later, having gotten the frame out of storage, there it was, wrong way around.

So, as we chatted, I took the back of the frame off, to turn it around. When I did, I got a lovely surprise, a black and white photo of my dad. (It’s shown here). I can’t imagine why my mum did that, what her motivation was at the time. I was only 10 years old when they gave me that card, and I remember her putting it in the frame and presenting it to me. I don’t remember dad’s picture being on display in that frame previously, but I suppose mum repurposed it for me, and kept his picture safely tucked away. And yet, here it was, with a secret photo inside. Thirty three years later, there I was, talking to the man I was looking at, and yelping gleefully at the surprise I’d just found. This really is the pic I found.

It was a lovely moment, and as someone said, it was a message from the grave. And now I have the perfect picture for my wall. I might even get one of us together, when we have our Fathers’ Day lunch.

Have you visited my facebook page? Visit and like it at facebook.com/DatingKit

Xx

Kit

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Donut droolfest

It’s not often I tell you about an event before it happens, but I’m so excited about this one that I simply must tell you about it in advance.

This weekend, in Melbourne, there’s going to be a Donut & Beer Festival.

I seriously don’t get the correlation between donuts and beer though. Frankly, I don’t drink beer, so that’s lost on me. But as for a beverage that goes with donuts- well for me that’s probably milk. Hot chocolate or a milkshake, particularly.

So, if you’re like me, you probably want to go on the Sunday, as Miss Molly’s Coffee & Cupcake Cart (https://missmollyscakes.com.au/coffee-and-cupcake-cart/) will be there. I’ve checked their 08-03-17site and they serve hot chocolate- they’d better bring it! Those who were around when I posted Irish pash for a hot chocoholic you’ll know how much I loooooooove chocolate.

But for those who drink beer, there are options.

The site doesn’t list all of the beers available, but there is a vid and I tell you, you need to have a look at it. I nearly drooled just watching. I wanted to check it out before dinner but I saw some donut pics and had to wait. And I was so glad I did because it’s breathtaking. Gooey, oozy, donuts being pulled apart. Delish and divine!! I am freakin’ busting for the weekend to arrive.

Do yourself a favour and move mountains to get there. I’ll be there, and so will many other young, singles looking to mingle. Well, you never know. And if you’re there and they’re there, you know you have great taste in common!!

And, if you already have someone you’re dating, or keen to date, you really should take them to this. Think about the yummy donut kisses.

Check out the venue details and get yourself some chocolately goodness over Labor Day weekend in Melbourne!

Xx Kit

 

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Being brave and sunshine bound

Recently, I did something I never thought I’d do, something brave- for me anyway.

I decided to go away on holiday on my own. Well, I had to go to Cairns for work, and took the opportunity to stay for an extra week.

It would mean that for the first time in my life, I’d be in a foreign place all by myself, with only myself to rely on for entertainment and company.cairns-flight

Since my divorce, I haven’t had enough money to go away for longer than a weekend, so this is a huge deal. As my work paid for the flights (because I was going there for them, primarily), I realised that I could afford a little holiday after that, especially if I could do it on the cheap.

Going on my own is an even bigger deal. While I live on my own and I’m used to being on my own, being alone on holiday is a whole different story. It took me some time to decide to put in for leave, and then when I got it, I still had to decide if I could do it. But I did, and thus started yet another adventure in the life of Kit!

I went into the trip determined to get as much out of it as possible. I wanted to get some sun, see some sights, the Great Barrier Reef and just have some fun! Most of all though, I wanted to step out of my comfort zone and try things I’d never done before- be daring! I didn’t know what that would entail, but I promised myself that I’d take chances and put myself out there where I could. Who knows what that sort of outlook could lead to?

 

For a sneak peak of what I got up to, check me out on Instagram @ http://www.instagram.com/datingkit/ and like me @ facebook.com/datingkit.

Xx Kit

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