Dating Kit

Adventures of a Single Girl…

TV tears setting the standard

on May 23, 2017

There’s something which has been bothering me of late regarding TV in Australia.

Lately, something I’ve noticed is that people get emotional, and if a tear falls, they say, “sorry.”

What is this shame we feel for the emotions we feel? What’s wrong with showing emotion when we’re going through something?

In most of the instances I’ve seen, the interviewer has shown the person a picture of a loved one, or asked a question about the topic for which the person is being interviewed. So, the subject matter shouldn’t be a surprise, and yet an apology, and a hasty swipe of the tear always follows.

I went through a difficult time of late too, when a friend of mine died. I’d known her half my life and when I found out, I was about to drive into my work place. I sat in the car crying, and then went inside and almost immediately was in floods of tears again.

Then I took myself into an office where I could see two managers were meeting, and I told them what happened. I didn’t apologise for my sadness, or my tears. Instead, I told them what had happened, and how I was feeling, and how I didn’t know how I’d work that day. And they understood. No one told me to stop crying, or pull myself together, or anything like that. From the start, they were nothing but welcoming, accommodating, willing to listen to what I had to say, and offered to go fo24-15-17-dkr a walk with me so I could talk to them if I wanted to. They offered me time off from that point, if I wanted it, and invited me to stay and keep busy, if that was my preference.

Over the next few days- when I continued to work rather than be home in misery by myself- I was overcome with tears on many occasions. I didn’t try very hard to hide them, but I also didn’t advertise them if I was with people I didn’t want to reveal the reason to.

When someone did see me looking teary or upset, they then had the opportunity to approach me about it. Some chose not to mention it, and that’s okay, while others offered themselves by opening up and being willing to receive whatever information I was about to bestow upon them.

Being open to someone’s vulnerability can be confronting- not knowing what sort of situation you’re going to have to deal with. And some people just aren’t willing to take that chance.

Perhaps what’s why people are loathe to show their emotions. It says to me that we each have room to grow within ourselves, so that we can be there for each other in whatever way is needed.

I worry that TV is setting the tone for the real world, in this instance, rather than the other way around. Everyone should feel able to live the pain they’re experiencing, whether they’re being interviewed on telly or are with a friend, family member or colleague.

So if you’re in a situation where you can see that someone is upset and you can extend a lifeline, try to put your feelings aside and help them. You might be feeling awkward at being present during such a moment of awkwardness but if you were in their shoes you might appreciate someone stopping and spending a moment with them and providing whatever comfort they could.

Knowing that someone is there for them, acknowledging the emotion, will make it easier to open up about what’s going on, and will likely strengthen their bonds with those around them, which means that in future, there’ll be people to go to. And for you, you’ll gain an insight into someone, and have a better idea of what they’re about. It’s a win win for everyone.

Xx Kit

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